KAIZEN FOR LIFE

Setting and maintaining boundaries can be soooo hard. Coming from someone who literally never used to have any. I never put any in place for friend, family or relationships and so people treated me however they liked and whether I liked it or not I let them do it.

This is partly because I had no role models or people around me who had put boundaries in place them self and partly through lack of self respect for myself. I didn’t think it was okay or even necessary to have boundaries – I didn’t realise they were a thing.

But now I am incredibly aware of their importance and the impact they can have.

Boundaries are what you are comfortable and uncomfortable with, they are your limits, they are specific things that either work or do not work for you, they are you personal and individual boundaries unique to you.

Having and putting boundaries in place involves :

• Discovering what things / behaviour you are okay / not okay with
• Discovering what you find disrespectful and are not okay with people saying to you
• Discovering how you wish to be treated and the treatment you will not tolerate
• Discovering what things you are okay and not okay with doing
• Discovering what you need in a relationship or friendship from the other person and what you are not willing to give

Then you must make it known to the people in your life and stick to them with every single person/thing.

For example, you may like to joke around and take the piss out of each other with your friends – but you reach a limit of they start discussing your appearance etc.

Or perhaps you do not really like PDA and you are happy to hold hands with someone but nothing more.

Each boundary will be specific to you and what you feel. Discover your boundaries first. Then put them in place. Make them known.